ISIS Worried American Sniper Chris Kyle’s Ghost is Killing Its Top Commanders

This has gotta be Fake News, but it sure is funny. 

If intelligence reports are to be believed, ISIS is in a state of alarm after some of its top commanders have been mysteriously killed with sniper shots to their heads. This has planted terror in the minds of ISIS members who are convinced the ghost of Chris Kyle is carrying out these attacks.

A leading intelligence officer provided the following possible explanation for this belief: “Following the beheading of an individual for possessing a bootleg version of the ‘westerner movie,’ American Sniper, several ISIS commanders watched the confiscated film. About a month later, a couple of commanders were shot in the head while they made love to a donkey. Initially, ISIS members believed another animal had committed the executions in a jealous rage. ISIS’s chief scientist eventually deduced, after intense calculations, that it was likely a human, not an animal, who was responsible for the attacks.

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