“That guy on the Strip overpass you can kick in the privates for $5 … SpongeBob, Buzz Lightyear and Darth Vader hamming for photos and hustling for tips … indoor gun ranges for shooting Berettas and Glocks … outdoor race tracks for driving Ferraris and Porsches.”
“Uh, things Las Vegas already has in spades?”
Living in this desert basin spoils a person, what with the weather, entertainment, nightlife, day spas, good food, quick commutes and free parking (mostly). Not to mention a guy you can kick in the groin for $5.
But that’s why we moved here, right? To be spoiled. And happy. If we wanted to be unspoiled and unhappy, we would have stayed in Massachusetts or Michigan or any other state where they hand out ice scrapers and ear muffs when you register your car at the DMV.
Yup, Vegas is the bomb. But that doesn’t mean it’s impervious to expansion. Apropos of that, here are some ideas our city planners, industry magnates and miscellaneous movers and shakers should consider at their next masters-of-the-universe meeting: